The Changing Seasons of Parenthood

The days bleed from one to the next. Some I can not differentiate. Weeks come in waves, some busy some not so much, but all very much the same.

Then, there are those periods when everyday feels new and exciting. Endorphins are high, motivations are driving me and there seems to be no shortage of energy in completing the multitude of tasks set before me.

And then, there are those moments in time that seem to stand still. One moment your hands are whirring in front of you, chopping, washing, blending, folding - doing it all - and the next instant the earth seems to have stopped spinning. The air freezes around you to enhance this one moment in time. A baby boy with a mischievous grin, trying to climb and jump from the couch. A baby girl swinging from side to side with her new doll in her arms, already loving it...nurturing by instinct. Then later, a squabble, they fight over a toy. But you can't help but think of when that ball will become a set of car keys. And as one finally wins, he runs away grinning in triumph, his trophy high in his hands. Click - mental picture taken. Then there is the oldest...his first day of school. His first day of t-ball. He tussles with his brother and already fights with his sister, who may be giving him a run for the title-holder in stubbornness. He tells me every morning, "It's a nice day."

I worry that I haven't stopped enough. That there aren't enough mental pictures - not enough real pictures - for me to remember. They change faster than the leaves fall...and the days slip by without my approval at all.