What's in a name?

It's that time of year again. Time to bring out the stockings, and hang them with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon will be here. With three kids, our mantle has finally found itself full. So my husband and I purchased the last two stockings we will be adding to it's white-wooden face.

Wanting to make it a fun family activity, I bought glue and glitter so we could all label our own stockings. Then we found ourselves confronted with a rather obvious question. For while our children's were each boldly decorated with their names, we wondered what our's should read. "Mom" and "Dad" seemed the obvious choice.

Laughing, my husband remarked, "Babe, we've got three kids. Never again will our names be necessary." We'll forever be "RayRay's Dad" or whichever child the person speaking is referring to. Once our babies grow up and begin leading little lives of their own, they create their own circle of friends and acquaintances, we as parents, are largely not a part of. And in this outer circle, we are simply 3rd party participants, and so, our names are hardly necessary.

It is both a blessing and a burden. Being a mom is the greatest gift life has given me. Their little smiles are priceless every time. Yes, it is hard. Hell, I would love to announce my presence every time I walk in a room with, "Yes, it is I. Mother and bearer of living things!" Then, everyone present, should do the wave. Because, lets face it, as moms we deserve it. Do we always get what we deserve? No. So we move on.

The trouble with those little blessings, is that they are all-consuming. It takes every ounce of strength, endurance, and brain power to raise those little heathens and with multiple kids, there is rarely an opportunity to have a moment to yourself. I told a friend not long ago, that I very often didn't get a moment to sit down until at least nine o'clock, once all the kids were asleep. Her reply was, "Hunny that's not relaxing at the end of the day, that's falling out." And there is a lot of truth to what she said.

It is very easy when you're a parent to completely lose oneself in their child. The never-ending stream of requests and demands and responsibilities can drown us, suffocating the spirit of who we once were. You know, pre-baby.

This is dangerous terrain to find oneself in. It is not only an everyday struggle to raise kids, be a spouse, and for most, an employee too, it is also a struggle to just be. To find balance and just be. Be the person you set out to be.

It is those that get lost in the struggle, and lose their sense of self, that have the hardest time finding that balance and very often lose control. We find ourselves sinking beneath the depths, kicking and screaming, trying to claw our way out, but no one hears us below the surface. And just like anyone who finds themselves drowning, if there is someone nearby, they will likely be drowned as well, or hurt in the process, as we try to break the surface.

How can we teach our children what kind of person to be, if we lose sight of who we set out to be ourselves? It is so important to maintain those friendships of old, while seeking friendships of new; to read new things and explore new places; to continue to grow so we can not just teach our children how to grow, but show them.

Passion in life is just as important as passion in relationships. I hope I can teach my children to be passionate. But I hope I can show them too. Because, while I happily labeled my stocking this year with "Mom", I know in the end, that the person who wrote it, was me.